Prologue

Every hour, one teenage commit suicide in India, if we see the bigger picture then you can say that 8 Lakh people every year commit suicide, worldwide. Now, 17% of those are from India which is around 1,35,000 freaking numbers. Why I am telling you this? Actually, it was my research before committing suicide like a Ph.D. student does his/her own research. We all are going to die, no doubt, if you can’t control the steering wheels then there is no point in living, we all are out of control, aren’t we?  

We all are living like a Sheep with some certain rules which are created by Sheppard (God). I don’t have problems with God, even I think God is necessary because without him/her we are nothing, he/she is the reason behind all the curiosity, Science is developing because of him/her, we wanted to see him/her, and we wanted to be as powerful as he/she is. We are human, fucking greedy people but this greed is important because without it we are nothing. Fuck this crap!

I do remember the date it was 20^th September 2017, at night around 11.40, I was so fucking depressed, anxious, or negative, I started walking without any clue, then my eyes glanced at a big five floor under construction building, with no guard or something. The weather was annoying obviously because it was cloudy and the cold air was making me shiver, a little, my heart was broken and a broken record doesn’t sing romantic songs.

I saw a board of “No Entry”, but fuck it we are Delhi people and we go where we want to go, and we do whatever we want to do, a tinny board of fucking iron isn’t going to stop us. I walked inside the building, 2 BHK apartments, small kitchen joint with stairs, and started walking towards the stairs, and in few minutes I was on the top floor, a perfect place to die because there were silence and emptiness, but not more than my heart. I was able to see the Dwarka city, and trust me at this time at night it was beautiful, but not enough to keep me alive.

Of course, my pain was much worst, I walked towards the edge of the roof, I looked down but the depth didn’t afraid me or maybe that time I was ignoring all the emotions, I did close my eyes to recall my precious moments, with her, with my family and friends.

I checked the time, it was 11.55 PM, and I waited for 5 minutes because I thought I’ll die with the rise of a new day. I was thinking about her, I was so in love with her, I wanted to make her happy but her happiness wasn’t centered on me. The worst point of life, when you wanted to make 'someone' happy but you found out that 'someone' is happy without you, and you can’t do shit, because with you that 'someone' isn’t happy, and what about your happiness, fuck you, who cares about you? Little shit, you are better off.

I thought of it and everything then I closed my eyes.

12.00 AM, 21^st September 2017.

I jumped.